As anyone who has been paying attention has noticed, I’m genderfluid. I wander the genders as if I’m trying on clothes at a department store.
I change often and randomly. Some days I feel very feminine. Others I’m masculine. Some days I’m both. Others I’m neither. It’s chaos.
I wrote a few months ago as quick fb posts on my main account. If you follow me, you may have noticed. It’s lost in the nethers now, but still exists if you search.
Changing genders readily is not fun. It would be so much easier if I just stayed in place. Even if it’s just for a few months. But I don’t. I move as readily as the ocean does. Every day I need to question, Which pronouns feel right?
It left me with a lot of dark days in my childhood. Dysphoria sucks, if you don’t know. And I grew up surrounded by sexism. In my home. In my school. In society as a whole. In media. In books. I pulled back from a lot of things. I got suicidal. Because I grew up feeling wrong. And there was no one to say what I feel is acceptable. No one said this is fine. You are normal.
I will NOT do that to Cyro. Society will treat them as male all the time. I can’t change society. I can’t get my family open and willing. But I will accept them completely. I will find them books to let them know they’re not alone. I will point out people who don’t fit the normal molds society has. People who stepped out the box.
The first step is to accept yourself. That is where our gender journal comes in. We are taking claim of our daily gender. We are telling our future self what we were today.
Name, date, gender identity currently, and preferred pronouns. As time progresses it will let us know where we side. Is there a reason or situation that has us slide. What can we do to make it easier on ourselves.
Cyro wrote two entries now. The first was just to please me. The second was because society hurt them. And afterwards? Cyro felt relief. That’s why I write. It’s a big reason I do. I can’t not.
Because within stories I can always find acceptance.
I will see if Cyro will make a post soon about writing in the journal. Can’t force them, though. If you can, reach out to Cyro and tell him, being gender fluid is acceptable. Tell them they’re normal. I don’t want to watch my child go through what I did.