One Day, One Eternity by Rosalie Jardin
I read this as a PDF file offered for free by signing up for Rosalie Jardin’s email subscription through her website. I suggest you do the same. It’s a cute little story.
Right off the bat, One Day, One Eternity is clearly a romance book. The opening paragraph has me aware of the type of story I was getting into. On the first page, we know the genre, setting, and main character. The writer’s style already shines through the words. This would be considered a great opening. The best openings give a clear understanding of what we’re getting into without bogging us down with too much.
From the first chapter, I wanted to support Adrian with his crush, Kay. The innocence in it while still being “the himbo” is adorable. As they become closer, I found myself smiling and hopeful. These two are the cutest “dorks” “cheesing at each other” ever. I will support them completely.
“A cookie or coffee would have been fine!” That’s adorable. These two are so adorable.
There was no point I wanted to stop reading. It was engaging start to finish. As quick as it was, it has everything a romance story needs: hero, love interest, and villain. Each person named had a clear purpose and reason.
Formatting is decent enough. I’m not normally happy with drop caps to open chapters, but this was streamline and easy to read. Fancy is only helpful if it doesn’t hinder. This was just a cute addition. The italics were a helpful addition as well. They offered an added strength to the various inner thoughts Adrian had. It boosted the story.
Several concerns though:
Kay has a habit of giggling. It’s done often enough to be a nervous quirk. If that was done on purpose, great, if not it would be concerning. I wasn’t sure which it was supposed to be, so it caught me off guard when I spotted it. There are other actions to show nervousness if she doesn’t have such a nervous quirk.
Dialogue tags are a touch confusing, mostly because they are missing. Since Adrian has control of the POV, he ends up controlling a paragraph where Kay should be the focus. Several times, I had to double back or reread to get an idea who is talking. Whoever is speaking in the paragraph should be the subject of the first sentence of said paragraph.
In this case, I would suggest either “Unfortunately,” Kay said, and then continue the paragraph or make “Unfortunately.” its own paragraph. It should always be clear who is speaking. There are several cases of confusion, but not so much so to make me want to stop reading. It just left me double checking who was speaking, which slowed down my reading speed a touch.
Descriptions are limited. I have little idea what the environment looks like. Most of the characters are up in the air too. I’m not normally the type to focus in on descriptions, but few were given. And not necessarily at the best time. The only one that could be called well done was Kay- which by far is the most important description- but a little bit about the others would go a long way. Perhaps not a paragraph of data but something. Even Adrian was lacking for the most part, and the information given was several pages too late. He had others ogling him on the first page, and he didn’t give any description of what they ogled.
The last “chapter”, Epilogue isn’t really an epilogue. Even though it’s a time jump, it’s not a serious one and easily explain-away-able. It should be marked chapter 8. It would make more sense that way. Prologues and epilogues should be separate pieces from the story. Helpful, but not required to grasp the entire story. Perhaps if the interaction of that final Monday was left at the end of Chapter 7, it would be okay. Then it would be a true time jump. As it stands, it really didn’t jump. It had a time jump transition a paragraph in. The epilogue feels more like a continuation of the previous chapter.
Most people dismiss or ignore the epilogues and prologues. I’m not sure why people hate them or skip them. Is the story “complete” without it? Chapter seven kind of leaves almost a sour taste. There needed to be some closure. The epilogue does that. But an epilogue shouldn’t be needed to close anything. It is best left with tying up subplots or opening for the next story.
Plus, it leaves off on a hope filled cliffhanger. This is supposed to be a short story that precedes a novel. Even if it’s filled with hope, it’s very much open instead of tied with a bow. It’s not truly a bad point, but there may have been a better way to end it that draws out a desire to read the next book while feeling satisfied with this one. Cliffhangers aren’t the only way to make people want to read the next story.
Do I think this story is strong enough to sell the novel? That’s debatable. I’m half in and half out. I’m not even sure what I’m missing to make it a “must buy”. Since this is a free/cheap prequel to gain interest for the next book, this is important. I liked it. But, I feel like this story could have offered so much more.
Overall though, I am happy with it. I wouldn’t call it fluff, but it was a cute little high school crush that has a different ending than expected. The story will continue with Prescription for a Lonely Heart, which I am very much looking forward to.
Rosalie Jardin should improve as she continues her author career. This is good for her first published work. If she keeps trying, I wouldn’t be surprised if she becomes the next Nora Roberts. It will definitely be a exciting future for the new author.
If you are interested in this story check it out here: One Day, One Eternity on My Book Cave.
TL;DR: For a short story by a new author, it is great. It was easy to read in one sitting. I have high hopes for this author’s coming books.