I went into this event as a rebel. I had no plan to work on a new project with so many other projects to work on.
I started with Organization Mission 10. It’s the middle of the road. I was working on it because it comforts me in its own way.
But writing isn’t there to comfort. And I’m not saying I won’t go back to that shortly. But I’ve been sick. The seizures have been more common and going for longer. It reminds me of how often they have been in my life.
Doctors and medical field is impossible. I won’t get an epilepsy diagnosis which could literally save my life. Because of reasons. I’ve given up on any form of medical help or treatment in this country. If you are aware of the medical world in this country, you’d probably be able to see why.
This sounds distant from nano. As if this information doesn’t matter. But it does.
Because I’m looking at death. It’s easy to see. I’ve visited with him before. Stopped breathing. Stopped heart. Things that should’ve killed me, but didn’t. I suffer greatly every single time.
And it has me thinking: Death is near.
What of my works would I regret not finishing before that moment?
What would I hate to leave open ended for Cyro or other authors who want my work?
The first draft of 11th and 12th Grade suck. I was just trying to throw down words. And there is some level of story there. But I didn’t know what the main plot to the books would be. Well… In 11th Grade I did, but it wasn’t well defined. I know who’ll die between the two books. I know who leads the charge.
But I didn’t have the ending sit right. It never did. It left too many loose ends of the wrong kind. It needed to be fixed.
And I know how to now. I know how to fix it and make it right. It’s all in my head. And not on paper. So if I don’t get this series finished before death, it will never be seen in the way I wish for its completion. Perhaps something like it could be written. Doubtful. It would be a truly unfinished series.
And I would regret that immensely.
So I am switching my projects for Nano. I will be pushing myself to finish off Dragon Rider. I may go in and edit a little. I’ll be posting some promo pieces this month.
I got 8k additional words on Mission 10 before putting it aside.
I wrote this morning after I was awoken by seizures (never fun). I put down over two thousand words. I can’t put off the story. I need to write it out, write it down. And then worry about the others.
I need to stop being distracted by everything and just get to work.
I will not be active on any social media until further notice. My mental health is bombing from it. It’ll fall apart without the outlet, but there’s little further option.
If you want to chat with me, my only openings are here or my email. [Contact Cat or Cyro Hartliebe]